Will It Ever End...

Hey everyone, I hope all of you are well. It's 30 minutes past midnight & as my husband sleeps I just sit here thinking of life & my children. I miss ALL of my kids right now so badly... Things here are still crazy as far as work & bills. Still nothing! Working on a couple of things working for one company from home, & trying to start up our old Herbalife biz, but we will see. My faith in our good Lord is strong & I know he will NOT give us more than we can handle, but damn when will this horror story end?? When can my husband & I live a normal life again (as normal as you can after the loss of a child). All we want to do is work & it seems that all the companies around here are commission only... That isn't gonna work. My husband & I are both catching a cold & we are stir crazy. The money is almost out & our electric is due on the 21st or we are in the dark the next day... Rent, don't even get me started on that & my car I had to get fixed because I had it looked at & they told us that if we drove it another 30 miles our wheel would have fallen off while driving down the road.. So there goes the last of our money.. Outside of all that I just force myself through each day & pray that Jehovah will bring us our blessings allowing us to pull through this.. I want to know where are all the people that are so close when we sit here lonely & in pain looking for a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to us just so we can vent.. Where are those that wanted me to go out before the pregnancy. When it would be good for us to get out & be out of the house & with friends.. We now realize that we ONLY have each other, and our Lord. Wish I had a group of girls that I could just hang out with or grab lunch with or coffee, i.e. On a good note these tough times have made me VERY resourceful!! I got 2 FREE phone w/FREE 250 FREE minutes every month for one year. One for me, One for my husband... I found a dental place to get my teeth cleaned & X-ray for FREE & Free Consultation. Getting my taxes done soon, but who cares because the EX gets ALL of that for child support. Liberty Tax though will give you $50 cash on the spot to get your taxes done... So that's $50 & when my husband got his done I referred him so the Liberty tax he got his done at owe me $50.. The last guy I worked for still owes us $150... We will probably NEVER see that though... Another good note is that we have so much free time now that our house is SPOTLESS!!! Feels great, when we were at our worst our house was not nasty just VERY sloppy, as those of you that have been through this horrible depression that comes over you when you lose your child that the house chores don't get done. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. I feel different when everything is spotless, a good different... Thanks for listening, Good night & God bless...